Just got home from my first regular show of the semester and it was pretty exhausting towards the end but I’ll just take a nap before next week’s instead of saying I’ll take a nap but looking at Facebook instead.
Because it’s Only Tuesday™, I wanted to talk about my weekend which was actually really good !!
We start with Friday (spoken like a true college student):
I had only gotten 2 hours of sleep HA but it was a pretty lucky day considering it was Friday the 13th [thunder claps]. On Fridays I only have PSYC101, Lucretius, and (sometimes) Roman History. After Roman History (which was a really easy lecture HAHA the most foreign thing that we covered was the Cloaca Maxima), I spent my afternoon with Harris predominantly and then others trickled in and out. The weather was beautiful and I was listening to Tame Impala’s Currents and Harris told me that I didn’t deserve to have my feelings compromised. We met up 1) to work on these DJ assignments that were due NOVEMBER 20TH but omfg they extended the deadline for like 4 of us and 2) to discuss the Alex situation which was pretty shitty on Friday but it’s dulled down since then.
This is me continuing on Wednesday. For whatever reason, I don’t really want to share the details of my entire weekend just bc they’re the same old same old — other than Harris having a birthday party on Saturday!
I think I fall in love with everyone I meet. Not much else to say there. I think the reason my emotions are pretty vulnerable is because I put myself out there so much, often focusing solely on the beautiful characteristics of the people with whom I typically interact. I’ve kind of been craving alone time because of my recent recognition of this phenomenon. Ideally, I would just retreat into my room at the instant my classes end without having to leave until class the next day. Even more ideally, I wouldn’t be awake at these absurd hours having to guzzle an over-processed “coffee” beverage to focus on my education. I would be asleep at 3:44 AM. But I think I just make things difficult a lot of the times.
Although I’ve been incredibly reluctant to address this in the past, I would like to get it out into the world that I think I’ve developed a nicotine addiction. I was kind of smoking a lot towards the end of last semester – it was a way for me to get my mind off of things. It was so easy when things would get stressful for me to excuse myself for five minutes and to come back with a clearer head and a lighter chest. Obviously I know that this is probably my most self-destructive habit, but there’s something grimly invigorating about having so much control that you choose to harm yourself even when you know it’s shitty. I got kind of carried away tonight and smoked 3 cigarettes haha. I wish I cared more about my future self to stop.
Hahahahah I hate everything that I’ve previously written, but I figured I’d keep it up there to showcase the variety of emotions I tend to drag myself through during the week. I’ll keep it quick since this post is already obnoxiously long but I kind of went through today (Sunday) in a perpetual state of mild discontent: displeased with the music I was listening to, the homework I (still) haven’t finished, & the social interactions I was put into. I’ve kind of been letting it get to me, but I know it’ll blow over in a little bit – I have a cool outfit planned for tomorrow B)
The weekend was PACKED HAHA. The highlight was definitely Friday despite the fact that fucking Donald Trump and his administration are planning to limit basic human rights to those who aren’t straight, white, upper-middle class Republicans :~) Among the shenanigans on Friday were going to get frozen yogurt after waking up from a 3 hr nap, smoking some weed, coming upstairs to like a quarter of the hall doing LAUGHING GAS HAHAHAHA WHAT THE FUCK, and then Harris invited me over to his dorm to watch a French film with some friends. We stayed up until 5 listening to music and just talking and checking the bus schedule every half an hour. Some might say my head found its way onto his chest for a little bit (lol I was still kind of high). He is a good egg. I called him last night at 4 talking about my less than average night haha he’s a good listener. And then Saturday and Sunday were pretty shit but that’s ok HAHAHA I just had my standards set super high after Friday.
Um so yeah I really miss you guys. College is hard haha and I often feel like the effort I put into our friendship is very disproportionate to the time I spend idk looking at Facebook and distracting myself with idle tasks. I’m trying to work harder on it, but sometimes my cynicism is insufferable and I would rather not spread it to u guize. Hope your weeks are splendid.
Still craving solitude, cigarettes, & soft music,
Edit: HAHAHA I’m gonna add some pics bc I just read both of your posts and I loved them 🙂 also I forgot to mention that I’m picking up guitar again?!? it’s exciting!